A story about underwear.

I am still unsure as to whether all men, some men, or only one man - Adam - chooses to wear jocks until they ain't jocks no more. I personally like to wear knickers that look clean when they are clean. That hang to my arse without elastic touching the skin.

Touching the skin..bare skin.

It's not that I worry I'll be in an accident, intestines seeping from my guts, eyes hanging from my skull or limbs severed beyond recognition and I'll suddenly think "OH MY GOD! I have those knickers on today. Just kill me. Stop the defibbing, get your CPR mouth off mine. The humiliation -it's too much".

No. I just like to wear nice underwear. To me? Basic Human Right. Up there with food, alcohol and er..water.

And then there is Adam. His jocks 'still have life' if they have holes, and some elastic exposed at the waist band. I think they are hideous and are passed the 'rag in the shed' stage. But, as a loving wife, I wash, dry and fold said jocks and return them to the jocks drawer instead of flinging them unceremoniously into the nearest bin. So what is the problem I hear you ask? It's not like anyone else has to see them. Right?

Wrong.

Adam is a gas pig and works away from home two weeks of every month. In those two weeks he works 12 hour days, enters the kitchen several times a day for his gourmet buffet..all you can eat heaven...wonders off to his state of the art gym...sleeps in his made bed, fresh sheets and all, and at some stage - he'll go and collect his freshly laundered, dried and folded clothes - from the laundry ladies.

Oh yes people. He sent these Jocks for OTHER PEOPLE to clean. To wash. To wittness. I think he has in mind that they were the souless, unthinking, non-judgemental cleaning fairies who make nothing of seeing jocks in the washing..like this:

LITERALLY hanging. By a thread.

And then one day when Adam was on night shift and so unfortunately had to wash his own clothes 

gasp!

He walked in to collect his washing from the dryer and, yep, there was the cleaning human. A woman. No fairy. AND - she had hold of the jocks. Adam, in his mortification made a grab at the jocks whilst muttering 'it's ok, i'll fold them', while washing lady grabbed them back with a 'No no, it's my job, I'll do it'. The struggle ensued, and Adam won. And made the walk of shame, with the jocks he now had to admit had reached there end, back to his room. And cried.

Ok no he didn't cry. But he put them in his bag to bring home to show me.

Aren't I the luckiest wife in the world?

Now, I'll just say one thing. I have enough issues washing my own dude's jocks that look like this. I ain't touching no other dude's jocks that look like this. Cleaning lady? Legend.

So, you think this blog post is coming to an end? Sorry people, there is one more thing.

Obviously, it was time to invest in some new jocks. So Adam went to Big W and bought ye olde favourites..the Bonds pack of 4 (this time with bonus pair!) 

which are supposed to look like this.

But when opened. They looked like this.

I am still crying with laughter. The jock gods sent him porn jocks. 

And I like walking around like this...just to take the piss.

*Disclaimer* Adam gave permission for me to post about his jocks. I am a bitch. But no one of those bitches.